Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Barbarian Horde 1K

I have had a brilliant idea and I must share it with the world!
The Barbarian Horde 1K.
Here's how it works:
As people register for the Barbarian Horde 1K they are split into two teams. Call them the Barbarians and the Vikings, though I'm open to suggestions. Pre-race preparation should include face and body painting, costume design (kilts and bare feet encouraged),  as well as repeated watching of Braveheart and any other movie with a massive, foot soldier-waged, edged-weapon battle in it.
As participants arrive they are sent to one of two sides of a 200m field, the side of the field determined by their registration. Once there, they are rallied by their Horde Leader, an arm-waving, nearly-unintelligible encouragement-yelling crazy person, until they are whipped into a frenzy.
Then, on shouted count between the two Horde Leaders (or possibly tossed sword), both side run screaming for the center of the field, 100 meters away. As they meet in the middle the goal is to run straight through, high-fiving as many of the opposing horde as possible, thus "killing" them, and then complete the run all the way to the other side's start point. A key point of all of this is everyone must be screaming, shouting, and hollering war cries the entire time they are in motion.You are, after all, a Barbarian Horde. Also, no weapons of any kind, even foam, would be allowed. This is supposed to be fun, with danger kept to a minimal.
Once both sides have recovered from Wave One, the entire thing is repeated. In order to reach a true 1k there would have to be five waves of attack (200m x 5 = 1000m = close enough). If both sides agree to an accord before that happens, after all running full tilt while screaming is hard work, the Barbarian Horde 1k can end early.
The post-race meal will not be normal fare. It will need to be some type of burnt meat product wrapped in charred animal flesh. Prizes will be given for Most Enthusiastic Barbarian, Best War Cry, Best Barbarian Outfit, and Scariest Barbarian To See Coming At You Full Speed.
I'm convinced this would be a ton of fun. Assuming everyone played cool and didn't try to purposely deck anyone in the melee (and signed injury wavers), wouldn't you get in on this?

1 comment:

  1. Okay you had me at Face/Body painting, watching sword-wielding movies and shouting loudly whilst doing high fives.

    Where do I sign up!

    Fantastic idea.. this is like the warrior dash but with less mud and more beer. I am planning a local event in my head as we speak!